Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.



 

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

 

Yesterday marked two months that my dad has been gone.  I missed him so much yesterday, and I didn't even think about the date until today.  I wrote about the hymn "Rock of Ages" in my last blog and how those words kept replaying in my head- "While I draw this fleeting breath, when mine eyes shall close in death, when I soar to worlds unknown, see thee on thy judgment throne, Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."  I love these words, but it breaks my heart at the same time.  Yesterday, that was one of our hymns at church and it broke me to play it.  It really, really made me sad. 

 

But it's okay to be sad.  It's okay to mourn.  It's okay to be broken.  My dad would say it's okay because that means we have to go to Jesus for comfort, for peace, for guidance.  It means that Jesus is waiting with open arms to embrace us and be there for us.  There's not a doubt in my mind if I talked to him right now, that's what Dad would say.  And it's what he would want us to do.  It's Who he would want us to turn to.

 

I've been thinking that he can look down on us from Heaven and that he's watching us, until today.  I don't know if he is or not, but I kinda think he's too busy praising Jesus right now.  I also think that looking down on me might make him kinda sad, you know?  He probably wouldn't want me to be so heavy hearted and broken.  He would want his death to be something that makes me want to be a better person.  He would want something, lots of things, good to come from it.  If he were able to see all the times that I mess up, or the times that I sit and cry, it would just make him sad, and the Bible clearly states there are no more tears in Heaven.  Maybe he can see us; maybe he can't.  But if he can, I need to be giving him something to smile about.  I love the song that comes from Psalm 19:14:

 

"May the words of my mouth and thoughts of my heart bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus, And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do, it's time to live a life of love that please You

And I will give my all to You, surrender everything I have and follow You, I'll follow You."

 

That would be my dad's prayer for us, without a doubt.  And it's my prayer, too. 

 

I finally got my pictures off of my old phone.  Here are some of Cohen and Daddy.  Cohen loves talking about PawPaw.  He told me the other night on the way home from church that he wanted to go up in the sky so he could see PawPaw.  And today he told me he just wanted to talk to PawPaw Gene.  Me too, baby boy, me too.  I wish we could've had him just a little longer.