Monday, December 23, 2013

Take Off the Grave Clothes!

"Am I worthy to stand in the presence of God? By no means!  I am a sinner saved by Grace."
 
Teresa gave me one of my dad's study Bibles about a month ago, but my heart hasn't been ready to open it and look through it until tonight. When I opened it tonight, the sentence above was written on one of the pages- my dad's handwriting on the page of Luke 18.  I was looking for a sign from God tonight, something to comfort me, something to fill me with peace. And He delivered.  How comforting, how amazing, how affirming, to read my father's words on the pages of my Father's words...proclaiming his salvation- right in front of me. I know without a doubt that my dad is in Heaven, always have.  That's never been an issue.  But it was a sweet, sweet reminder from my Heavenly Father of my dad's strong faith.  Of his relentless hope of salvation.  It was a gift this girl needed on the eve of Christmas eve.  
 
My heart aches in the death of my dad.  It literally aches.  It's rare that I speak of his death out loud.  Very rare.  I can't. I literally start crying every time I speak of him, and it's too much for me.  But a few nights ago, I told Michael that his death is just unbelievable to me.  It doesn't seem real. 
 
 Looking through his Bible tonight helps me.  Seeing how he placed little dots under each individual word of John 4:41 ("And because of his words many more became believers.")  makes me proud that he was my dad.  A God-fearing, God-believing, God-seeking Dad.   
 
Flipping the pages, I see some more notes he's written on the pages of John 11.  The passage is about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.  My dad wrote on the side of the page, "Has your life turned upside down?  4 days dead!  Jesus can still work it out!"  So yes, Dad, my life has turned upside down.  And you're right- Jesus is going to work it out.  After all, he performed the miracle of raising a dead man back to life.  No matter what we go through, whatever trials come our way, Jesus will still be there.  He's still in the business of loving us, protecting us, and guiding us.  He can still heal our broken hearts. My hope is in Him.  I'm so blessed that I know that he's at peace. 
 
I'm thankful for my Savior, for giving me the parents that He did. This Christmas, I've experienced the birth of Jesus in a new way because now all the people I equate with the nativity and the birth of Jesus, I imagine my dad meeting in Heaven, talking with them, getting first-hand reports of how it all went down that night in Bethlehem so many years ago.  My dad is with these people now.  That's amazing.   
 
Last Christmas was a really hard Christmas. Cohen had the flu, so we couldn't leave the house.  We were stuck at home.  I remember texting my dad telling him we wouldn't make it over to his house, and I was sad to miss out on all the festivities.  But later on, he and Teresa came over to see us.  It made our day to visit with them, and had I known that would've been my last Christmas with my daddy, I would've relished in it even more, taken more pictures- this time making sure I got some really great ones of my dad with Cohen.  I had no idea that he would be gone from my life just a month and a half away.  No idea. 
 
 I pray for healing for our family this year.  But when I think of us, I also think of so many other families that are hurting, that are experiencing loss and sickness, and I pray that we can all help each other through these times.  We need to show God's love and be His light to one another. 
 
The last sentence my dad wrote on the page of John 11 says, "Take off your grave clothes!"  I think it's his way of saying to me to not be consumed with grief. Rejoice in his life.  But also rejoice in his everlasting life.  It's okay.  It's going to be okay.
 
O, come let us adore Him, O come let us adore Him, O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord.
We'll give Him all the glory, we'll give Him all the glory, we'll give Him all the glory, Christ the Lord.

1 comment:

  1. How awesome that God knows how and when to speak to you. What an amazing gift your Dad was and his words continue to bless you. Praying for you this Christmas season my dear friend!

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